Plan B

I didn't like it out there.

And I do not have a Plan B.

I'm like well? I can live and work anywhere I want to.

So "where the fuck to now?"

I already know that geographicals aren't a cure.

They're a treatment. ;)


 

Posted at at December 16, 2016 on Friday, December 16, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Is it a labyrinth, or is it a maze?

LabyrinthMaze
A labyrinth has a single through-route with twists and turns but without branches.A maze is a confusing pathway that has many branches, choices of path and dead-ends.
A labyrinth is not designed to be difficult to navigate. It may be long but there is only one path (unicursal).A maze is a tour puzzle and can be designed with various levels of difficulty and complexity.
A labyrinth has only one entrance and that is also the exit. There is just one path from the entrance to the center.A maze may have different entry and exit points.
Some labyrinths have a spiritual significance. They signify the complex and long path to reach God.Mazes are used in science experiments to study spatial awareness and (sometimes) intelligence.

Posted at at December 14, 2016 on Wednesday, December 14, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

At the intersection of different languages and cultures I find that I don't really mind that nobody understands what the hell I'm saying.

I'm antisocial and I don't like chit-chat anyway. ;)

I dropped a baguette on the floor this morning. I shrugged, picked it up, sliced and buttered part of it, and ate it.

That got me a horrified look from some queen sitting at a nearby table in a suit and a tie.

I shot a dirty look back. Ah hah! I knew you were the one fucking the bald guy at the waffle maker.

Oh honey, just stop it. Do you even have any idea what goes on in a French bakery?

They take the loaves home, half sticking out of the bag.

Or they just sit there rattling around loose on a shelf for everyone to paw through.

You know, some people even tuck a loaf under their armpit for extra flavor before they hop on their bicycle. >8)

Besides, I've had way grosser things than this in my month.

Posted at at December 13, 2016 on Tuesday, December 13, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

At least I'm pretty sure those footsteps on the cobblestones are mine.

You might think that the serial escape artist would be all over this job opportunity.

I'm known for taking random job offers in random cities, sight unseen.

I decided to go get a hotel and check it out before we got to the offer/acceptance stage.

Everyone's like "Who are you and what have you done with-?”

Because he doesn't care where he's going or what's going to happen there.

I got a connecting flight in Paris and checked in on Facebook. I announced that I was joining Al Qaeda to be a bareback comfort girl for the freedom fighters.

About 1 minute later my roommate was texting me: “GURL DELETE THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.”

I think this has something to do with why Facebook closed my account with a message that I am “ineligible for Facebook.”

I woke up early from a dream: I'd put in my notice and I'd quit my job.

I was sad that I was leaving. I wasn't even sure why I was leaving. I liked my job... Why would I do that? It was one of the best things that had ever happened to me. Why are you doing this?

I wanted to call HR and take my notice back.

It was too late.

I grieved.

Posted at at December 11, 2016 on Sunday, December 11, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Time waits for nobody, always ticking, moving on
Time waits for nobody, always ticking, moving on

Time waits for nobody, always ticking, moving on
Time waits for nobody, always ticking, moving on

Posted at at December 11, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

About That

"It’s about how God continues to reach into the graves we dig for ourselves and pull us out, giving us new life, in ways both dramatic and small."

Nadia Bolz-Weber, "Pastrix"


Posted at at December 06, 2016 on Tuesday, December 6, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

My Autumn's Done Come

My roommate (one of my best friends who just turned 50) turned into the type of person who gets up at 4:00am and goes jogging and reads the newspaper and shows up for work on time. 

He was surprised that I was awake at 5:00 this morning.

I replied that you don't need as much sleep anymore when you get old. 

"You start getting up at 4 or 5 in the morning or whatever... You powerwalk alone by the lakeshore and feed the geese because all your friends are dead now-"

"Oh, fuck you."

"You don't need a lot of food or sleep anymore because you're so close to joining them-"

"Cunt!"

He's baffled at how I manage to spill coffee everywhere I go. 

"The mug's probably just cracked because you didn't wash it right."

"I didn't wash it right? Oh my god. Seriously?"

Right on cue I knocked my cup off of the desk and got coffee all over the floor, the desk, the walls, and the baseboards.

"I'm not saying a word."

(Ah, fuck me.)

"Sayyyyyyy, that's a nice carpet you have in your bedroom. Be a shame if someone with neuropathy refilled his coffee and came in here to have a friendly chat with you!"

"Don't you dare! Oh look, my rags are all full of coffee now. Should we get you a sippy cup? How is it that you can write software but you can't operate a god damned coffee cup?"

"You'd better be nice to me, Blanche. Nobody else is going to push your wheelchair."

Posted at at November 28, 2016 on Monday, November 28, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

I guess there'll be a dowry of two chickens and a goat or whatever.

I've seen the amount of internal accounting controls involved in simply marking down a sales order, heaven only knows what kind of paperwork you'd have to fill out to buy me.

One of my interview questions involved some role play where they needed to save their work because they had 11 minutes before they were killed in a tsunami.

I made a face and asked who on earth would want to spend the last 11 minutes of their life talking to our front-end call center.

What, it's role play! I'm trying to make it believable!

Posted at at November 27, 2016 on Sunday, November 27, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

I don't trust anyone with my problems anymore.

"So how are you going to do a fourth or a fifth step?"

"Uh, a priest or a hobo or a hooker probably."

"All excellent choices. It just says it has to be another person."

"Exactly. I can rent a birthday clown or a mime to make angry faces at my resentments and scared faces at my fears, and I'd better get a damn good show during my sexual inventory!"

Posted at at November 26, 2016 on Saturday, November 26, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

The Waiting


Posted at at November 25, 2016 on Friday, November 25, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

H.S.K.T.

I've got a television it's filling me with home
I've got a television it's filling me with home
Wherever I end up wherever I roam
Hey I've got a television it's filling me with home
I've got a phone that beeps makes me know I'm not alone
I've got a phone that beeps makes me know I'm not alone
Wherever I end up I sleep like a stone
Hey, I've got a phone that beeps makes me know I'm not alone

My head my shoulders knees and toes
My head my shoulders knees and toes
My head my shoulders knees and toes
They're running everywhere I need to go
My head my shoulders knees and toes
My head my shoulders knees and toes
My head my shoulders knees and toes
They take me to where I want to go

-- Sylvan Esso

Posted at at November 25, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

2-Headed Boy

My co-worker Josh picked up an acoustic guitar at dinner and started playing/singing this:



Two headed boy, she is all you could need
She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires
And retire to sheets safe and clean

But don't hate her when she gets up to leave.

Posted at at November 25, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Oh!

"Well there's one thing I won't miss about America. All the obligatory holidays I'm forced to attend."

(Josh): "There's a loaded pistol in my backpack if you can't take it anymore."

"Uhhhh if it was my own family I'd probably take you up on that."

(Josh): "By the way this an orgy house. Michelle's dad is gay, he's a bear and they had a 6-person shower custom built for orgies. Hopefully there aren't any dildos laying around today, I don't need my daughter seeing that."

"Theyyyy wha-?" Good god, no wonder I don't faze you or your wife.

They were nice people. Her father and his partner were apparently the kind of high strung bears who'd hyperventilate over a carelessly flicked cigarette ash landing in the wrong direction on the patio if you know what what I mean though.

The best thing about thanksgiving was their 5-year old daughter announcing that "Grandpa's stuffing tastes like penises."

"I'll bet grandpa's stuffing DOES taste like penises."

:HORRIFIED LOOK FROM MICHELLE:

Posted at at November 25, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

re: Leaving

The job transfer is a go, after all.

I got a little sick to my stomach on the freeway leaving work today.

I didn't even get that kind of feeling from finding out that I was positive.

I was driving on the 635 when I suddenly remembered that I'd dreamt about going through an airport in Russia and taking a small plane out of Poland or Belarus or something. I was very far away from anyone and and anything that I'd known in civilization and the night was crisper and the stars were brighter than any night sky I'd taken in before.

It was cold enough to see my breath. I had a comfortable dark colored winter jacket on.

It didn't feel like the night time here.

When it clicked I remembered every detail as if I'd only had the dream yesterday.

But it was several months ago now.

I'd immediately forgotten about it after waking up.

I don't know exactly where I was or where I was going, but I was completely comfortable with everything and I think that I was able to call someone at home while I switched planes.

The first airport didn't make a lot of sense, it was dingy and dark and much of it seemed to be underground, I was taking some old and grimy ass escalators down to the lower levels. It just seemed to be somewhere that I was passing through.

The floors by all the entryways were marked by extremely wide yellow stripes.

But this second airport was much smaller, and it wasn't a direct transfer either. We had to drive a short distance and cross a border somewhere. I was traveling with somebody who knew what we were doing and where we were going. 

When we got there, we walked out onto the tarmac to board.

None of these places resembled anywhere I've actually been.

Posted at at November 23, 2016 on Wednesday, November 23, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.


-- Anna Nalick, 2AM(Breathe)

Posted at at November 23, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Homeward, onward

I drove from Seattle to Los Angeles and then onward to Austin.

I picked up a couple of Russian hitchhikers in Tucson and they kept me company for the next 1,000 miles or so.

I was a little incredulous at their plans to sleep in a tent out in the desert.

"We are from Russia. And sleeping outside is good for you."

They're on their way to Cuba and then South America via New Orleans and Ft Lauderdale. Any other week I would have taken them the whole way but its a company holiday, I'm off all week, and I have plans for Thanksgiving.

We swapped stories and they told me about working as harvesters out in the marijuana fields out in California and all the strange addicts and miscreants they'd encountered along the way.

"Oh boy, and then you ended up in a car with me."

I'm glad they're experiencing the America that I know and love. ;)

I appreciated having some company because Seattle to Austin is a long, long, long time to be out there alone on a highway and lost in your head.

Their English was decent enough. One of them coined the term "minery," as in a "mine," and this prompted me to come up with ideas like a "minery tour" where you drive a convertible around the back woods of West Virginia and stop at every mine for a coal sample.

That sounds fun. I'd totally do that.

I had a sad, and it was beautiful all the same, when one of the girls sang along to Anna Nalick's "breathe."

I told them that was the album/song I was listening to when I was moving out of Key West.

I'd barbacked at the 801/New Orleans house and one of our DJs (Junior) played the Blake Jarrell remix of that song all the time.

They asked where they could set up a tent and I don't really do that sort of thing, so I took them up on the top of the 360 bridge overlook and I  found them a clearing in the woods. It was pitch black out, and boy aren't they in for a surprise when they wake up to its magnificence.

Posted at at November 23, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

11:11

On 11/11/15 I found myself in one of those stuffy old church basements somewhere in Texas again, actually identifying with what a speaker had to say for himself for the first time that I could recall in ages.

Some dude I was crushing on had a tattoo of Isaiah 41:10: "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." 

I looked at the clock and noticed that it was 11:11. So I made a wish: I wished that I would never have to sit in another goddamned meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Austin TX again.

I put the house back on the market the next day.

Then I threw all my shit away, and I moved back to Los Angeles four days later.

Fuck wishing: I make things happen.

The house was under contract in five days, we closed in January.

I'd owned it for 5 years and it was as hard for me to let go of a house and all of my stuff as I guess it is for anyone else. Thats quite a long time for me to stay in one place.

It was a really cute place but I honestly don't miss the $250 bills from Austin Energy. I don't miss mowing the lawn. I don't miss the demon possessed circuit breaker panel that neither myself nor three electricians ever managed to solve.

I do, however, miss my sunflowers and working from home out on the deck under the Texas sun.

I've driven over a million miles now and when I started this trip I hit a tumbleweed about the size of a deer.

I felt bad for running my mascot over.

Some guy I've talked to in passing on and off for the last few years said hi and I really just wanted to turn the car around, drive the 160 miles, and crawl into his bed because being held sounds a lot better than whatever else I've got going on right now.

There were dozens of tumbleweeds rolling around on the interstate at 11:11 last night. Oh well, these are my friends now.

I was supposed to find out on Wednesday if I'm being transferred to another team in Belgium, so I'm in between places and it's kind of hard to plan for the future right now.

This is one of the few times that I'm not drifting around and indecisive about my future by choice.

If they say no, that's fine. I'll just go get an apartment and have my car fixed. I like the job I already have and I am okay with both outcomes.

I was originally going to shelter in place in Los Angeles for a few weeks and maybe hit some of those meetings up again. They were kind of entertaining in LA.

But instead I found myself rolling my eyes and thinking "You did that for eight years and those people wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire."

So I'm just going to key it up and try somewhere else this time.

Posted at at November 19, 2016 on Saturday, November 19, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Anywhere on this Road

I love, love, love the fact that it's extremely gusty and that gigantic tumbleweeds are rolling across the interstate while I play this song:

I live in this country now 
I'm called by this name 
I speak this language 
It's not quite the same 
For no other reason 
Than this it's my home 
And the places I used to be
Far from are gone

You've travelled this long 
You just have to go on 
Don't even look back to see 
How far you've come 
Though your body is bending 
Under the load 
There is nowhere to stop 
Anywhere on this road

My heart is breaking 
I cannot sleep 
I love a man 
Who's afraid of me 
He believes if he doesn't 
Stand guard with a knife 
I'll make him my slave 
For the rest of his life

I love this hour 
When the tide is just turning 
There will be an end 
To the longing and yearning 
If I can stand up 
To angels and men 
I'll never get swallowed 
In darkness again

You've travelled this long 
You just have to go on 
Don't even look back to see 
How far you've come 
Though your body is bending 
Under the load 
There is nowhere to stop 
Anywhere on this road

--Lhasa de Sela, Anywhere on this Road

Posted at at November 18, 2016 on Friday, November 18, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Spin the Wheel of Geographicals!

Joe Chiriaco traveled from Alabama to watch the Rose Bowl in 1933.

He came upon a place in the California desert, next to what was formerly US-60, and he went "Ah hell, I'll just open a gas station right here."

He never returned to Alabama.

Posted at at November 16, 2016 on Wednesday, November 16, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Pissin' All Over the Sun

I miss you but I gotta make it quit

I gotta stop this emotion

With some kinda tourniquet

I know I'm not welcome in these parts

I know I'm not welcome in your heart

I'm like a kamikaze pilot

Through the rays of ultraviolet

I was pissin' all over the sun

Would you believe what keeps burnin' through my brain?


I imagine I could kiss you


My love's a sacrifice for St. Valentine

A polaroid, a children's nursery rhyme...

-- Jill Jones, Pissin' All Over the Sun


Posted at at November 15, 2016 on Tuesday, November 15, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:


You're on your own, in a world you've grown
Few years to go, don't let the hurdle fall

So be the girl you loved,
Be the girl you loved.

I'll wait.

So show me why you're strong
Ignore everybody else, we're alone now.

I'll wait.

So show me why you're strong
Ignore everybody else, we're alone now.

Suddenly I'm hit,
is this darkness of the dawn?

And your friends are gone, and you friends won't come

So show me where you fit, I'll wait.

So show me why you're strong
Ignore everybody else, we're alone now.

I'll wait.


-- James Blake, Retrograde

Posted at at November 11, 2016 on Friday, November 11, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

The Secret Cremation Society

I gave my mom the title to my Acura.

Then I headed south and gave my niece the title to my truck on her 17th birthday.

I sold my 328 to Carmax.

I figured I'd take the Z4 out to the west coast "one more time" and then sell it when I got out there.

It's almost like it knew: It died on me out in Needles, California. 

I had it hauled off by some company in Nevada and took a flight out of Las Vegas.

While that was going on I had a Sev 2 outage 2 hours to "doors open," and this one stumped both myself and the other escalation engineer. We couldn't reach anybody from Development. I got fucking lucky and figured out the problem, then I wrote a four-liner SQL patch sitting outside in the sun and restarted all the services. We got everything up and running five minutes after "doors open." Hey, do the other two applicants for this position routinely pull shit like this off for the company? At least I had a good cellular connection.

I wasn't planning on visiting the overlook at Lake Mead again. Last time I was there, it was pitch black and it was so silent I could hear the electricity crackling on the overhead wires. That was one of my all-time favorite nights for stargazing and I remembered it fondly.

This time around, there was a lot of light and noise pollution and the reservoir level was so low it looked like the whole damn lake's about to go bone dry soon. It was just another time and place and it wasn't as magical anymore. This seems to happen to me a lot when I re-trace my footsteps today.

This place caught my eye when I went to deposit the check from Carmax. If they were open on weekends, I just might have walked inside and asked if they offered "walk in" service or if I actually had to die first.


 

When I finally got a flight out of Vegas, my flight attendant was someone from the program. Small world. I waved. He came to my seat and gave me a hug.

He asked me if I needed a ride home.

Yeah that sounds... Really good. I just nodded and tried not to choke or tear up until he wasn't looking.

I wasn't really expecting him to talk to me all that much but he was super sweet to me.

We hit some turbulence at one point and if it had been anyone else on the flight crew that night I just might have asked one of the flight attendants for a goddamned jack and coke.

Posted at at October 30, 2016 on Sunday, October 30, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Daykeeper

I can't sleep at night

Cause they won't see me

Running from the daylight

To where she keeps me


And when the sun rises, she watches over me


Waiting for the daylight

Cause then she'll keep me

In the safety of her arms

She never leaves me


And when the sun rises, she watches over me


He tells me all his secrets

He thinks nobody knows

We lay together in daylight

I love him so


And when the sun rises, he watches over me


It's not like it was before

And she can't keep me anymore

She loves me

Why don't you stay here with me

I pray that our morning won't leave


Let me keep you, then you'll see

Don't hide the truth from yourself

It's you that I'll love and protect

Let me keep you here with me

-- Foreign Exchange, Daykeeper

Posted at at October 30, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Still out there somewhere


"I got lost out on the road somewhere... 
Was it Texas, or was it in Canada?  
Drinking whiskey in the morning light..."

Posted at at October 27, 2016 on Thursday, October 27, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Fuck and Run

You woke up alarmed
You didn't know where you were at first
Just that you woke up in my arms
And almost immediately you felt sorry
'Cause you didn't think this would happen again
No matter what you could do or say
Just that you didn't think this would happen again
With or without your best intentions

And whatever happened to a girlfriend?
The kind of chick who tries to win you over?
And whatever happened to a girlfriend
The kind of chick who makes love 'cause she's in it?

And you want a boyfriend
You want a boyfriend
You want all that boring old shit
Like letters and sodas
Letters and sodas

(Like restraining orders...)
(Restraining orders.)   

I got up out of bed
I said I had a lot of work to do
But you heard the rest in my head
And almost immediately you felt sorry
'Cause you didn't think this would happen again
No matter what you could do or say
Just that you didn't think this would happen again
With or without your best intentions

And I want a girlfriend 
I want a girlfriend 
I want all that boring old shit
Like letters and sodas
Letters and sodas
Like letters and sodas

(Like restraining orders...)
(Restraining orders.)   

I can feel it in my bones
I'm gonna spend another year alone
It's fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was twelve

I almost felt bad
I said that you should call me up
But you knew much better than that
And almost immediately I felt sorry
'Cause I didn't think this would happen again
No matter what I could do or say
Just that I didn't think this would happen again
With or without my best intentions

And I can feel it in my bones
I'm gonna spend my whole life alone
It's fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was seventeen
Fuck and run, fuck and run
Even when I was twelve

-- Liz Phair (some gender reversal ala "Girls, Girls, Girls" version)

Posted at at October 27, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

America the Beautiful, the Horrible, the Amazing, the Tragic.

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Posted at at October 26, 2016 on Wednesday, October 26, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

"Home is where the hatred is"

A junkie walking through the twilight
I'm on my way home
I left three days ago, but no one seems to know I'm gone
Home is where the hatred is
Home is filled with pain and it,
might not be such a bad idea if I never, never went home again

Stand as far away from me as you can and ask me why
hang on to your rosary beads
close your eyes to watch me die
you keep saying, kick it, quit it, kick it, quit it
God, but did you ever try
to turn your sick soul inside out
so that the world, so that the world
can watch you die

Home is where I live inside my white powder dreams
home was once an empty vacuum that's filled now with my silent screams
home is where the needle marks
try to heal my broken heart
and it might not be such a bad idea if I never, if I never went home again
home again
home again
home again
kick it, quit it
kick it, quit it
kick it, quit it
kick it, can't go home again

-- Gil Scott-Heron

Posted at at October 26, 2016 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

When Summer's Gone ...

I didn't take my cellphone out to the lake shore yesterday.

I wandered across the Sydney Marovitz Golf Course and got yelled at by a groundskeeper:

"You don't want to get hit in the head by a golf ball, do ya?"

I stopped in my tracks and hemmed and hawed indecisively about the question for a couple of seconds. I actually had to think about it.

"Yeah. Um. I kind of do right now?"

It was cold outside, the water looked dirty, and my heart sank a little bit for not being completely breathtaken by the majesty of her shore and the city skyline. I daresay I was almost disappointed.

I could barely finish the thought before her waves started crashing into the metal breakers along the shore in front of me.

Before I knew it, the waves were 5.. 10.. 20 feet high, crashing into the breaker and splashing on the concrete steps I sat on.

One wave would hit the surface and roll a good forty feet down the shore in front of me.

It looked like giant white fireworks popping off into the air:

"Boom!"

"Boom!"

"Boom!"


I was sitting fairly far away, but of the waves came down with a hard enough splash to kiss me on the cheek.

I missed her too.

I began to see rainbows in the mist as the waves rose and crashed into the barricade and fell.

I started crying out there because I didn't know if or when I'd see her again.

Posted at at October 25, 2016 on Tuesday, October 25, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Leaving




-written by Jeremy Gloff
-appears on Midnight Blooming (1996)

People are stupid
That’s why I realize
I gotta blow out of this city
Before it blows my life away
My mother’s a dreamer
I inherit her wings
We’re not satisfied
By the simple things at all
When summer’s gone
I’ll be leaving again.

I think back to when I last cried
In my old house
Where you laid by my side sometimes.
Then I realize every time I go
I abandon everything
That I learn to know again
When summer’s gone
I’ll be leaving again

I know lots of good people
With dead-end jobs
Or dead-end dreams
Or dead-end lives
Sucked into their bottles
Sucked up by TV
Stuck in their living rooms
Where they think they’re going
Somewhere.

When summer’s gone
I’ll be leaving again
I’m gonna have to change my state of mind
And leave everyone I value behind
I’m changing
And you’re not changing
And I know you can feel it
Cause I can feel it
I know you can feel it too
Yes I can still feel it…

Posted at at October 16, 2016 on Sunday, October 16, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

100 stories about leaving Chicago

Whenever I look down at the ground racing below me, I'd be well advised to remember that I only got this job in the first place because some recruiter ended up getting my number mixed up with some other candidate and calling me on accident.

I was heading south on the outer drive and Res ("They Say Vision") came up on the radio. Steve used to always play a Robbie Rivera mix of that track and he'd just gone off to prison for dealing again.

I'd just warned him: Dude. You have got to get out of the game because you have a gigantic neon sign over your head that says "Arrest me."

Be he said he's "got this."

He wasn't going to slip up this time. 

It was cold outside but it was sunny and beautiful.

I shook my head and I thought "Thank god you're not on that horrible fucking drug."

I was on US-41, right next to Soldier Field. Where I'm still banned for life. The phone rang. It was a call from Tina.

Tina sounded a little manic. She said she was airjamming a pretend guitar in her office to Metallica's "Master of Puppets" while she looked for a Puppet Master.

I was ostensibly leaving for Texas on vacation that morning, but I had despaired at the thought of returning and I honestly had half a mind not to. I wasn't sure but I had some time to think about it and perhaps begrudgingly make the right choice to turn those wheels back north towards February, the looming cloud of my boss's halotosis, and an alarm clock set for 5:15am.

I wasn't actively looking for another job. I didn't even have a resume posted anywhere. But I had a feeling that I was about to say adios to the doublemint twins and the stock exchange after all.

"Well, I'm really beginner to intermediate with that and I only learned it under duress. I was kind of forced to learn it so how about a Puppet Slave instead?"

"That's closer than I've gotten all day!"

Before that phone call was over, she was like OK fuck that other guy, we're submitting you instead.

"All this time I've spent looking for a Puppet Master, and I should have been looking for a Puppet Slave..."

Posted at at October 13, 2016 on Thursday, October 13, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Show some love for Minnesota!

I have the new Vikings stadium all to myself. It's magnificent.

They're practicing for the opener and they have a choir rehearsing "Purple Rain."

It's the most profoundly fucking beautiful thing I've beheld in a long time.

Standing there alone staring at an empty bowl with the chorus booming over the field.

I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain...

Purple rain..

Purple rain.....

[chills down my spine.]

I got to walk across the fifty yard line.

Without being tackled by security or going home in a paper yellow sun dress!












Posted at at August 28, 2016 on Sunday, August 28, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

A dirty bottle washes ashore ...

A dirty bottle washes ashore:
It says "Help me, I'm in over my head."
Help me, help me, help me get to heaven and back again.


Posted at at July 09, 2016 on Saturday, July 9, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Lifestyles of the Incomplete

Dan innocent hears kids outside
And wonders if he’ll raise one of his own
As body after body gets bared and redone
He's just bitter and he always sleeps as one
Animal behavior.

Andrew beauty loves Christmas lights
There’s no one to share the glow with him
As work rots his skin away day by day
When boss goes home
Would he let his children hurt the same way?
Animal behavior.

There’s no pride when you have bills to pay…
You and your father turning out the same way…
One feels cheap and one strips the clothes away

Robert cynical drinks his beer
Watch him glow, deteriorate, and disappear
His hours drained in a computer screen
Just existing and surviving
Lifestyles of the incomplete
Animal behavior.

Engines running,

Attractions calling,

Distractions,

Push and pull.

There’s always a push and a pull.


-- Jeremy Gloff, Animal Behavior

Posted at at February 20, 2016 on Saturday, February 20, 2016 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under: